The Butterfly Run Ottawa
  • 2023 Run
  • Upcoming Events
    • 2022 - Event Thanks
  • Connect
  • About
    • Vision
    • Executive Committee
    • Media
    • Past Events >
      • Mother's Day Event 2022
      • The Butterfly Run 2021
      • The Butterfly Run 2019
      • Charlotte and Theo's Butterfly Run - October 13, 2018 >
        • Charlotte
        • Theo
      • Spinning Class Fundraiser - April & May 2018
      • Paint Nites - May 15 & 17, 2018
      • Film Night & Panel Discussion - June 1, 2018
      • Silent Auction - June 1-3, 2018
      • Butterfly Wing Fundraiser 2017
      • Film Night & Panel Discussion 2017
      • Silent Auction 2017
      • Paint Nite 2017
      • The Butterfly Run 2017 >
        • Aaron's Story
  • Blog
  • Resources

rachel's reflections on loss

4/19/2017

0 Comments

 
Hello, I'd like to start by introducing myself. My name is Rachel Samulack and I am the mother to 3 children, but only 1 is here with me today. On June 19, 2016, I lost my son Aaron 100 minutes after birth. My husband Rob and I are organizing Aaron's Butterfly Run Ottawa/Gatineau in his memory.  If you would like to learn more about Aaron and our time with him, you can read his story here.  

Today, my son Aaron would be 10 months old.  These milestones are hard.  I think about all of the things that Aaron would be doing at 10 months old.  He would likely be crawling all over our living room and eating all of the crumbs off the floor. He would have lots of teeth to try all sorts of new food as summer arrives.  If he were anything like Gabriel at 10 months, I would be exhausted because he would still be nursing like crazy at night. Now I am exhausted because I am back at work, juggling work/life/being a wife. I would be washing double the amount of cloth diapers.  Yikes.  These milestones are hard. Some months, I completely forget and other months the 19th hits me like a brick wall.  Last week also marked the due date of our first baby who we lost at 10 weeks in September 2013.  Pregnancy and infant loss just suck.  


The loss of Aaron has shaped the way that I think about the future and the present. I watch the children of friends who are the same ages as my two little ones.  I watch their interactions with curiousity and amazement.  I feel sad for Gabriel because I know how much fun it is to play (and fight) with younger siblings.  I get sick of hearing "Oh, you have lots of time" or "Don't worry, you will have another one." I am so grateful for Gabriel, my lovely, wonderful little boy. However, Gabriel does not replace the loss of Aaron and the expectation that I had for our family when I found out we were expecting Aaron. As Aaron's one year birthday approaches, I have to figure out a way to mark another milestone. A milestone celebrating the joy of his life and the sorrow of his loss. Joy and sorrow are now firmly intertwined in my life.  How do you mark these milestones?  How do you celebrate your babies who are no longer with us on Earth?  I would love to hear from you with the ways that you celebrate your butterfly babies.  
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    January 2021
    July 2020
    June 2020
    November 2019
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    November 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017

    Categories

    All
    Aaron's Butterfly Run
    Announcement
    Bill 141
    Butterfly Babies
    Butterly Box
    Contest
    Event
    Father's Day
    Film Night
    Giveaway
    Initiative
    Interview
    Loss Story
    Media
    Paint Nite
    Panel Discussion
    Perinatal Loss
    Personal Story
    Pregnancy After Loss
    Research
    Resource Highlight
    Silent Auction
    Sponsor
    Support Group
    Volunteers

    RSS Feed


Website

​http://www.butterflyrunottawa.ca/

Email

butterflyrunottawa@gmail.com
  • 2023 Run
  • Upcoming Events
    • 2022 - Event Thanks
  • Connect
  • About
    • Vision
    • Executive Committee
    • Media
    • Past Events >
      • Mother's Day Event 2022
      • The Butterfly Run 2021
      • The Butterfly Run 2019
      • Charlotte and Theo's Butterfly Run - October 13, 2018 >
        • Charlotte
        • Theo
      • Spinning Class Fundraiser - April & May 2018
      • Paint Nites - May 15 & 17, 2018
      • Film Night & Panel Discussion - June 1, 2018
      • Silent Auction - June 1-3, 2018
      • Butterfly Wing Fundraiser 2017
      • Film Night & Panel Discussion 2017
      • Silent Auction 2017
      • Paint Nite 2017
      • The Butterfly Run 2017 >
        • Aaron's Story
  • Blog
  • Resources