Category: Aaron's Butterfly Run

Aaron's Butterfly Run Featured on Daytime ottawa tv

9/18/2017

Yesterday, Aaron's Butterfly Run Ottawa/Gatineau was featured on Daytime Ottawa Rogers TV. Rachel Samulack (Aaron's mom and lead coordinator of Aaron's Butterfly Run) and Amanda DeGrace (one of our volunteers) spoke to Dylan Black about pregnancy and infant loss.

Rachel and Amanda highlighted some of the resources that are available to individuals and families in our community who experience such losses. For example, thanks to Mom Friends and Just Change Ottawa, our region will now have Butterfly Boxes - boxes filled with information and resources for those who experience miscarriage or infant loss. The Butterfly Box will be officially launched this evening from 7-9 PM at the Heart & Crown in the market. We would love it if you could join us to celebrate and learn more about the Butterfly Box.

They also highlighted the upcoming run on Saturday October 14th. You can register here.

You can view the full interview segment below.

Thank you Dylan Black, Daytime Ottawa and Rogers TV for your support!

Rachel's Letter to Aaron on his one-year birthday

6/19/2017

Today marks one year since Rachel and Rob Samulack's son Aaron was born and passed away.

Today, Rachel shares with us a letter she wrote to Aaron that she left with him during his internment and a follow-up letter she wrote to him this year in honour of his birthday on June 19, 2017.

A letter written to Aaron, left with him during his internment...

June 22, 2016

Dear Aaron,

Although your time on earth was short you are so loved. You were such a blessing to carry – even for such a short time.

Meeting you was the happiest and saddest day of my life. Happy because I had waited for what felt like a long time to meet you...and sad because the time was so short. You are such a beautiful baby and are so loved.

Gabriel, your dad and I were so happy to spend the 100 minutes that we had with you. You were so peaceful and beautiful. I know that you are not suffering now where you are but I miss you so much. I miss feeling you moving and touching you through my tummy. I miss the nights lying in bed and talking to you.

I love you so much.

Mommy.

A follow up letter written to Aaron, in honour of his birthday...

June 19, 2017

Dear Aaron,

A year has passed since you were born. 365 days. A year ago, I was in labour with you during the early morning hours, bathed in the light of a full moon. The morning dawned bright and sunny and the birds were singing. We had planned to go for a church picnic in the park and I had made cookies to bring along. You had other plans. It was Father’s Day – what a day to be born. Your birthday was filled with such joy and such sorrow.

According to the medical world, you were incompatible with life. You surprised everyone by spending 100 precious minutes with us after birth. You met your older brother Gabriel and squirmed when he poked your eyes and nose. You stayed with us for another 20 minutes when Jodi (our amazing doula) turned on some of our favourite worship music. Songs that you danced to while I was pregnant with you. You passed away in my arms, loved and wanted. I wanted to memorize every detail of your tiny body; your little fingers and toes, your strawberry blonde hair and your lovely lips.

Shelley (our wonderful nurse) and I gave you a bath and dressed you. We spent time holding you and Veronique from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep came to take photographs. After being at the hospital all day, we gave your body to Shelley and prepared to go home. I heard a newborn baby cry in the delivery room next door and that’s when it hit me. You weren’t coming home with us. Leaving the hospital without you was one of the hardest moments of my life. I had carried you, birthed you, held you as you left this world, and buried you, Aaron Isaiah Robert, all within eight short months.

The life that I live now is different than the life I lived before you were born. It’s like the watercolour painting that Gabriel brought home from play group. There are the pinks and yellows of vivid sunsets, the joy that comes with being alive to experience them. There are days that are as dark and black as the velvety night sky where the stars don’t seem to shine. Grief sometimes blankets me in darkness when I least expect it. However, I also experience love. Love for all of our children. I miss the future that will never be. Seeing you eat your first birthday cake, wiping frosting from your hands and hair. We had balloons at your memorial service last year to celebrate your birthday. This year we will visit the cemetery and leave a little gift for you.

The last year has taught me to really appreciate the support we have been given. We have the most amazing friends and families. We have received such an outpouring of support after your death. We have had many meals made for us and cards sent to remind us that we are not alone. We love more deeply and realize how precious and short life is and hold each other close.

We love you and will continue to love you for all the days of our lives.

Yours always,

Mommy

Thank you Rachel for sharing such personal and heartfelt messages, and for everything you do to raise awareness about perinatal loss and support others who are experiencing something similar.

Rachel and Rob Samulack chose to coordinate Aaron's Butterfly Run Ottawa/Gatineau in honour of baby Aaron and in support of all other individuals and families who've experienced loss of a pregnancy, loss of an infant, or infertility. The Run will happen on Saturday October 14, 2017 during pregnancy and infant loss awareness month.

Recap of our Paint Nite

6/12/2017

Sparkling conversation, splashes of paint, and savouring sweet treats were the perfect combination for a night out on Monday, June 12th, 2017! It was also an opportunity to support the estimated one in four women in Ottawa/Gatineau who have or will experience pregnancy or infant loss.

Thank you to everyone who joined us for this sold-out event. From your support, we were able to raise $600 to directly support the cost of the Run. We're fundraising to support the cost of the Run itself (to cover the cost of things like race kits), because 100% of your registration to the Run on October 14th will go directly to Roger Neilson House, a program of the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario (CHEO).

Thank you to our awesome instructor, Ena Lucia Mariaca, who led us through a very fun evening of painting! Thank you also to Oh So Good Dessert and Coffee House at 261 Richmond Road where in between brush strokes, were were able to nibble on our favourite goodies from their wide selection of delicious desserts!

The Hardest QUestion

6/8/2017

You might remember our previous post, where Margaret, one of the volunteers for Aaron's Butterfly Run Ottawa/Gatineau, shared the letter she wrote to her son Matthew, who was stillborn at 26 weeks. Margaret also experienced two first trimester miscarriages before her last child was born.

Margaret shared with us some more of her thoughts around miscarriage and infant loss (also known as perinatal loss), which she summarizes as "the hardest question" - Read more below...

For the last eight years, the hardest question to answer has been, “how many children do you have?” It is so innocent. Such an icebreaker. Strangers ask me all the time in the grocery store line-up, at the park, the hairdresser, the dentist. All the smiling people looking at me with expectation while I do this mental calculation.
         ‘What mood am I in?’
         ‘Do I feel like being sad or making this person uncomfortable?’
         And more importantly: ‘Will I have to see them again?’

Frequently in the grocery store or other places where I expect to never see the person again, I answer “Three.” But I always feel like it is a betrayal of the truth, of my firstborn son, my Matthew, stillborn at 26 weeks, and the two first trimester miscarriages I had before my last was born.

Occasionally I tell the whole story, but I can’t always stand the pity and the awkwardness. Most of the time, I am just in a hurry. I need to get this chore done because the demands of my three living children keep me pretty busy.

The new complicating factor is my six-year-old daughter who is admirably dedicated to honesty. If she ever hears me answer, “three,” she corrects me, “No, mommy, four. What about Matthew?”

I’ve always told my children about their older brother. We visit his grave. We take care of the flowering bush we planted by his headstone and we pluck the dandelions that grow in the grass around his resting place. We do the little things we can instead of taking care of the child we wanted.

I do feel a responsibility to answer this question honestly because I felt so caught off guard when I learned my pregnancy wasn’t going well that first time. It was only after that bad news ultrasound that the stories of grief and loss came out. I had no idea that pregnancy and infant loss was so common and in a way I felt betrayed by that. If we had a more open conversation about loss, perhaps I wouldn’t have been so blindsided. When I deny the truth of my son and my grief, I am doing the same thing to the women and men around me. I am leaving them unprepared for the possibility of pregnancy and infant loss. I am abandoning them to a situation where they will feel alone, where they won’t know that resources exist, where they won’t know they have a friend to whom they can talk openly. Which is why if I think the person asking the question, “How many children do you have?” is someone I might see again, I try to tell them the truth in a way that lets them know it is common, it is a part of life and it isn’t fresh anymore so if you need to talk I actually feel like I have some capacity to do that now. If you want to talk, or if in the future you ever need to talk, you know you will have a compassionate, listening ear and you are not ever alone.

Thank you Margaret, for sharing your thoughts on perinatal loss.

Announcement: photographers for Aaron's butterfly Run

5/20/2017

We are so happy to announce the photographers for Aaron’s Butterfly Run Ottawa/Gatineau: Kim Brookes from Breathe In Photography and Annie Carrier photographe lifestyle et artiste émotionelle!

Kim from Breathe In Photography specializes in celebrating connections through birth, feeding, babywearing and in-home newborn photography. She talks about her work:

“One day when your child asks you about the day he was born, or a sibling asks about the day her sister or brother joined your family, when you are taking a few moments to remember, or someone asks you about those early family years, you will have the photos to tell the stories over and over again.” (Kim Brookes from Breathe In Photography)

Kim’s style honours real life so that you can remain true to the moment so she can capture the beautiful connections between you and the people you love. Every birth story, the fuzzy chaos of the early days with a newborn, the mess in the kitchen and the mismatched booties on your baby's feet is the setting for beautiful moments. She believes photography celebrates connections, builds community and sparks important conversations. She hopes her images will provide you with beautiful tangible moments that you can look back on for years and years.

Annie Carrier photographe’s mission is to become your creative partner to ensure that you get images that reflects the beauty and rawness that makes you the beautiful and unique beings that you are. She tells us about her approach to photography:

"My lifestyle approach to photography allows me to offer you images that are filled with life and sensibility, filled to the brim with emotions and present. This medium allows me to meet incredible people who are not only looking for images, but to capture the every day magic, the little moments of joys where tears and laughter often intertwine. They want to freeze in time the perfect imperfections of everyday life to remember the moments exactly as they where. My clients are genuine and authentic, they celebrate a life well lived and lived fully, and are not afraid of letting their personality shine to ensure that their session will undoubtedly reflect the essence of who they are, whether we do it locally or abroad." (Annie Carrier)

Annie is also a volunteer photographer for Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. She photographed the family of one of our volunteers after her daughter Anya passed away at birth in 2013. Anya’s mother, writes:

"On December 19, in the hours of shock, confusion and pain that followed Anya's death, a nurse at the hospital suggested she get in touch with a volunteer photographer who could take pictures to commemorate our family's one and only day together. An hour or two later, we welcomed a wonderfully compassionate and attentive photographer (Annie) into our little cocoon. We now have a few more mementos to add to our small pile. We are ever so grateful!" (Kayleigh Felice)

Kim and Annie have both volunteered their services for the day of the run. Hopefully you will have the opportunity to get to know these amazing, generous women! They have also donated photography packages to our Silent Auction, scheduled for June 2-3, 2017 (join the group here).

Thank you SO MUCH Kim and Annie!!!

Facebook Giveaway!

5/19/2017

It's giveaway time!

The volunteers at Aaron's Butterfly Run Ottawa/Gatineau are excited for this long weekend! We have 1 lovely Ottawa/Gatineau print to giveaway from Alexandre at CDNPrints. If you don't win this time, you can bid on more of these prints in our online Silent Auction on June 2-3, 2017.

In order to win:

Like our Facebook page
Join and share our Silent Auction Facebook page
Comment on our giveaway post on our Facebook page and tell us about your favourite place to spend time in 1 of our lovely cities (Ottawa/Gatineau or another 1 of our favourite Canadian places)

The print size is 31x46cm and is silkscreened so each print is unique! Please note that the frame is not included.

The lucky winner will be notified via Facebook private message on Tuesday, May 23.

Thank you to Alexandre from CDNPrints who donated these amazing prints. You can check out his shop on Etsy.

butterfly wings for sale

5/12/2017

Well, its the weekend everyone! If you're planning to head out to treat yourself to some coffee or baked goods on Saturday or Sunday, we'd encourage you to stop by 3 Sisters Bakeshop & Gourmet Creations to pick up a latte and pair of butterfly wings ($30/pair with proceeds going to Aaron's Butterfly Run). The coffee is worth a little trip (if you don't live in the Alta Vista area) and these wings are just too cute to pass up for a little child who likes to play dress up!

For more info, check out our previous post about the butterfly wings.

paint nite in support of aaron's butterfly run

5/9/2017

Sparkling conversation, paint splatters and sweet treats sounds like a perfect combination for a night out, but on Monday June 12th 2017, it will also be an opportunity to support the 1 in 4 women in Ottawa and Gatineau who have or will experience pregnancy or infant loss.

If you have never experienced a Paint Nite fundraiser, you need to try this fun evening of painting with your friends. An expert instructor will lead even the most inexperienced artists through the painting step by step to creating your own masterpiece.

A portion of ticket sales from the evening will go to Aaron’s Butterfly Run, to support race day costs.

This event will be held at Oh So Good Dessert and Coffee House at 261 Richmond Road in Ottawa. In between brush strokes, you can nibble on your favourite goodies from their wide selection of delicious desserts.

Tickets must be purchased before May 29th 2017 and promotional codes are not accepted for this event.

Click here to view the facebook event

Click here to purchase your ticket (before May 29th)

Pregnancy after loss

5/6/2017

Thinking about subsequent pregnancy after loss? There is an event coming up in June in Toronto about subsequent pregnancy after the death of a child.

Come and learn more about this topic with Alexis Marie Chute, bereaved mom, artist, and author of "Expecting Sunshine" - a book she has in print as of April 2017 and a film by the same name.

The June event will provide you with increased knowledge as well as a chance to sit with other parents who are:

Thinking of another child,
Are pregnant with another child
Already have a “rainbow baby” and are seeking support

When: Saturday, June 24th, 2017 8:30 AM - 12:00 PM

Where: Peter Gilgan Research and Learning Centre (event room 1) at 686 Bay Street in Toronto

Childcare will be available for your children.

Please invite all who matter to you as this topic is important to be supported in!

RSVP by June 17th to grief.support@sickkids.ca or by calling (416) 813-6782

recap of the pregnancy & infant loss film night & panel discussion in ottawa/gatineau

5/5/2017

From the bottom of our hearts, THANK YOU to everyone who supported our 1st-ever Pregnancy & Infant Loss Film Night & Panel Discussion on Friday April 28th, 2017!

The event was 1 week ago today, so in case you didn't have a chance to attend the event, we thought we'd share a bit of a recap:

We viewed 4 short films on pregnancy and infant loss - links to the films are shared below so you still have an opportunity to view and/or share them;
There was a panel discussion which covered a variety of topics from parenting after a loss to teaching compassion for health care workers;
We had a bake sale with all proceeds supporting Aaron's Butterfly Run; and
We shared a sneak peek for our upcoming Silent Auction in support of our Run (if you haven't already, please join our Facebook group to participate in the Silent Auction)!

Overall, we got a sense that many people felt a sense of relief to be in a room full of understanding people where they could talk openly about their losses. It was interesting to hear how many people came to the event because they knew someone who lost a pregnancy or an infant and were looking to find ways to better support them (thank you to those amazing people in our support network).

We were very moved by many people in our community who got up to speak at the event. Some of those people just experienced losses of their own, as recent as two weeks previously. Our hearts go out to them as they experience their loss, but we hope they know how much support they have in our community. Even if our event helped just these people, even just a little, we feel it was a success.

Here is some of the other feedback we've heard so far:

"Thank you so much for organizing this event. When we discovered it was taking place on the one year anniversary of our daughter's stillbirth we knew we'd be there. We especially appreciated the film about father's grieving and the fact that that young couple found the help they needed. You're hard work and dedication to this cause is making a different. Thank you again!"

"I just want to thank you for the opportunity to attend the Film Night last night. It was such a range of experiences; compassion, education, wealth of knowledge and strength. One of the things that struck me the most, was the nurturing environment of the church and its community. I think such a welcome encouraged dialogue and reflection and I am sure helped the couple who had lost their baby two weeks ago,to come forward and see help and support. So thank you."

We value your feedback on this event, and our cause. If you have additional feedback for us, feel free to comment here, or send your feedback to butterflyrunottawa@gmail.com

For those of you who weren't able to attend the event in person, you can still have a chance to view the videos here:

100 Minutes with Aaron

An Ottawa-based family's experience with Perinatal Hospice. This film will explore Rachel and Rob Samulack's journey with Perinatal Hospice at Roger Neilson House and the 100 precious minutes that they spent with their son Aaron Samulack.

When The Storm Hits

Created by the University of Quebec in Gatineau. Five fathers share their experience of their child's death and the tools that have helped them to live through this storm. These stories can inspire bereaved families, professionals' practices toward men, as well as the development of policies and services for them. .

Jacob

A film on pregnancy and infant loss by Shawn Lovering on his mother's experience with pregnancy loss.

PAIL

Link to be added in the future (we're sorry that it's not publicly available at this time)

Again, THANK YOU so much to everyone who supported this event!

Thank you for supporting individuals and families who have or will experience pregnancy and infant loss. Ottawa/Gatineau is an amazing place to live and we have such an amazing community!

Thank you again to our panelists, including:

Lynn Grandmaison Dumond, Nurse Practitioner with the Roger Neilson House Perinatal Hospice Program
Viola Polomeno, Registered Nurse, Ph.D, Professor at the University of Ottawa, specializing in Perinatal Education;
Alex Pigeon, Bereaved Father and blogger;
Sarah McIlwham-Shipley, Doula specializing in perinatal loss with MotherWit Ottawa; and
Rachel Samulack, Bereaved Mother and Aaron’s Butterfly Run Ottawa/Gatineau Organizer (she isn't writing this post, so we still get to thank her :-) ).

Thank you to our volunteers, including all of our wonderful bake sale contributors!

Thank you to everyone who made and purchased butterfly wings! If you didn't have a chance to purchase a pair of wings and you'd still like to, they are still available at 3 Sisters Bakeshop & Gourmet Creations for $30/pair. Thank you to Fabrications Ottawa for donating the organic cotton for these wings! All proceeds are supporting the Run!

And last but not least, thank you to everyone who attended the event!

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