Blog Post By: CAROLE BRULÉ
International Bereaved Mother’s Day is celebrated on the first Sunday in May.
This very special day was created in 2010 by mom Carly Marie Dudley a few years after her beloved son Christian was born still. International Bereaved Mother’s Day honours and celebrates mothers who carry some, or perhaps all, of their children in their hearts rather than their arms.
Carly wanted to help other grieving mothers by letting them know that they were not alone. She dedicated International Bereaved Mother’s Day to women who felt forgotten and isolated in their grief on Mother’s Day (traditionally held on the second Sunday of May each year). The traditional Mother’s Day is often a dreaded and emotionally exhausting occasion for so many moms around the world. On International Bereaved Mother’s Day, moms who have lost their child/children are able to come together and support one another by sharing their memories, their pain, and their stories. It is a chance to remind each other that they are not alone in their grief.
“Just because your child died does not mean that you are not a mother anymore.
You are your child’s mother forever, and people need to start recognizing this fact.”
– Still Standing Magazine
So often, those who know a bereaved parent (even family and close friends) feel helpless in terms of what they can say or do to provide support and so they instead say nothing. This lack of acknowledgement can make a bereaved parent feel even more isolated and alone in their grief. Yes, it can be difficult to know how to acknowledge a bereaved mom, especially in May when mothers are traditionally celebrated, however, the loving presence of family and friends and a willingness to simply be there and remember a little one gone too soon is often enough.
How to gently support a bereaved mother …
For those who wish to truly support a bereaved mother, your ongoing presence and willingness to be there and remember is so important. To authentically be there with her in her grief without trying to ‘fix’ the pain she is feeling is enough (because you simply can’t resolve the pain or make it better and you truly don’t need to). On International Bereaved Mother’s Day and Mother’s Day, let bereaved mothers know that you remember with them…
Celebrating Mother’s Day as a Bereaved Mom
There is NO guilt or shame to be had here.
Because you’re still a mom even if you do none of these things.
You are still loved.
You are still celebrated.
Your baby is still remembered.
You are still and will always be … a mom.