Complicated Grief

In our July 2022 newsletter, we looked at the ways in which the Covid-19 pandemic resulted in significant disruption to overall healthcare including maternity, neonatal, and bereavement care services.  Maternity care changed abruptly with the arrival of the Covid-19 lockdown leaving many perinatal loss families isolated, alone and cut off from their families, friends, and usual support systems.
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The loss of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death is one of the most traumatic life events anyone can imagine.  Following the loss of a pregnancy, women may experience a rollercoaster of emotions including (but not limited to): shock, denial, anguish, guilt, feelings of shame and inadequacy and a loss of hope. Feeling isolated and unable to access much-needed support after such a loss, may lead to complicated grief.

VeryWell Health defines complicated grief as follows:
‘Normal’ grief describes the typical feelings that people have in the first weeks or months after a loss. This type of grief will get better with time as people learn to cope with the loss.

Complicated grief describes atypical feelings and responses that can be extremely intense and persistent. A person with complicated grief may need more support to help them understand what they are feeling and how to move through the grieving process.  

​Please click here for reference  

A 2018 study notes that: up to 30 percent of pregnancy losses are followed by significant emotional reactions. And one in 10 women exhibit signs of a diagnosable disorder such as anxiety, depression or post-traumatic stress disorder following a reproductive loss. 

​Please click here for reference  

It is so important to remember that grief of any kind is a unique, fluid, dynamic, and complicated process that does not proceed in a linear or orderly way.  We all vary enormously in the ways that we experience grief in terms of its duration, intensity, and the ways in which we cope.  If you or someone you love is grieving the loss of a pregnancy or an infant, please remember, you are not alone. 

We here at the Ottawa Butterfly Run see you, hear you and stand with you.  

Resources to support you:

Ottawa’s 24-hour Distress Centre
Distress: 613-238-3311
Crisis: 613-722-6914 or 1-866-996-0991 /TEXT 343-306-5550 (chat and text 10am-11pm)
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Network

“Psychology Works” Fact Sheet: Grief in Adults

Illustration from: The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy