Anne of Green Gables "House of Dreams" novel still Rings true today

After Aaron’s birth and death, I (Rachel, Aaron's mom) began re-reading the Anne of Green Gables series by beloved Canadian author L.M. Montgomery.  I had completely forgotten that in Anne’s House of Dreams, Anne loses her first baby Joyce on the day that she is born. The scene is so poignant and heart wrenching to those of us who have experienced the loss of a pregnancy, infant or child.  L.M. Montgomery knew all too well the pain of losing a child at birth. Her second born son, Hugh Alexander MacDonald was born still on August 13, 1914.  

An excerpt from Anne’s House of Dreams: 

"Time will help you," said Marilla, who was racked with sympathy, but could never learn to express it in other than age-old formulas.

"It doesn't seem fair," said Anne rebelliously. "Babies are born and live where they are not wanted - where they will be neglected - where they will have no chance. I would have loved my baby so - and cared for it so tenderly - and tried to give her every chance for good. And yet I wasn't allowed to keep her."

"It was God's will, Anne," said Marilla, helpless before the riddle of the universe - the why of undeserved pain. "And little Joy is better off."

"I can't believe that," cried Anne bitterly. Then, seeing that Marilla looked shocked, she added passionately, "Why should she be born at all - why should anyone be born at all - if she's better off dead? I don't believe it is better for a child to die at birth than to live its life out - and love and be loved - and enjoy and suffer - and do its work - and develop a character that would give it a personality in eternity. And how do you know it was God's will? Perhaps it was a thwarting of His purpose by the Power of Evil. We can't be expected to be resigned to that."

"Oh, Anne, don't talk so," said Marilla, genuinely alarmed lest Anne were drifting into deep and dangerous waters. "We can't understand - but we must have faith - we must believe that all is for the best. I know you find it hard to think so, just now. But try to be brave - for Gilbert's sake. He's so worried about you. You aren't getting strong as fast as you should."

"Oh, I know I've been very selfish," sighed Anne. "I love Gilbert more than ever - and I want to live for his sake. But it seems as if part of me was buried over there in that little harbour graveyard - and it hurts so much that I'm afraid of life."

"It won't hurt so much always, Anne."

"The thought that it may stop hurting sometimes hurts me worse than all else, Marilla."

Though it is 100 years since L.M. Montgomery penned these words in 1917, they still ring true in my heart.  Marilla was right – it won’t always hurt so much. However, we live in a world where there is both joy and sorrow.  I have learned so much about life in the past year. 
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Sometimes, grief comes crashing down like the waves of the ocean. However, in the last year I have learned that I will not drown.  As much as the salty tears flow down my face, I wipe them away and I will continue to rise above the waves. It's hard, but life is still beautiful.